Since starting the process of gender affirmation, I have been constantly observing the developments and the changes taking place in my body: the new voice and the new body proportions are immensely exciting, but what turned out to be the most valuable of all was the change in my attitude not only towards the way I look, but also towards my very self.
I view the body chiefly as a tool for interacting with the outside environment; as with any other tool, it should be as adapted to the needs of its user as possible. Unfortunately, the one that was given to me does not fulfill its purpose, forcing me instead to express myself in a way that is not compatible with my nature: at birth, I was forcefully assigned the role of a woman.
I am reclaiming the agency over my body through hormone therapy and gender affirmation procedures.
The title 40ml is the amount of synthetic testosterone I took during the first 9 months of hormonal therapy. During this time, my body underwent a series of the most dynamic changes that allowed me to achieve compatibility with my body and symbolically start a new, better life.
The medium I chose is surround sound emitted through six different channels and based on my body measurements taken over 9 months. It is accompanied by a video documenting various aspects of my transformation. I took the clips with my smartphone camera over the last couple of months, that is to say during the beginning of my journey of adjusting my body to suit my needs. They are in the form of a video diary that encourages contemplating the relationship with one’s physicality.
SHOWN AT:
Reality Bender - exhibition of 3DiZW2’s MA Diplomas, WOK Lab, Warsaw (2023)
SPECIAL THANKS:
promoter: Prof. Włodzimierz Szymański
co-promoter: Dorota Kozieradzka PhD
reviewer: Maryna Tomaszewska PhD
mgr Stefan Węgłowski, Pilip Menlyk, Jan Łęcki, Magdalena Góra, Dominika Sochacka